It’s been a while since I wrote. I’m still having serious anxiety issues. They termed it ‘hyper vigilance’ and it feels as if I’m edge all the time. The doctor doubled my dose which as yet has not helped much and has also caused me to have absolutely no motivation. Until today, I haven’t sewn in weeks, nor sketched or painted or had any desire for fiber art. It’s discouraging right now but I can’t stop the medication until there is improvement in the anxiety.
I was extra shaky this morning when our carpenter came to install our new countertop. He’s a friend so I managed to calm down enough to distract myself with sewing the last few blocks on the Split Charms baby quilt by Sugar Pine Quilt Design’s that’s been on the design wall for while.
They were able to save the mosaic underneath the window that I’d done years ago.
I was a bit limited in my blacks and whites and used what I had.
Meanwhile, a friend very kindly basted the 9 patch baby quilt together for me which I hand quilted using the utility stitch. I’ve found that hand stitching or simple knitting is all I’ve felt up to doing. She also did a second one for me for more utility stitching.
I’m sewing the binding down, another thing I find relaxing.
Simple knits we’re needed so I’m doing preemie hats.
This morning we had our new countertop installed which may have been what pushed me to sew a bit in my studio. I need to get out to my garden to pick beans and carrots, however; today it is too hot and muggy for me. My motivation is so low that I have to push myself to get anything done. The medication, citalopram, which is supposed to help anxiety, and hasn’t done much yet, also makes me sluggish. I’ve ignored a lot of the garden but I’m really going to try to get some yellow beans frozen as I’ve tons of them.
I’ve got rhubarb that need picking too but we’ll see.
I’d like to know if anyone out there is suffering from this kind of anxiety. It’s been going on for months and I’m quite discouraged.
My hip has healed well and if I could walk more it could help. I’m up to about 18 minutes. The other issue is my back which keeps me from walking too far. I’m due for another injection.
Sorry to be such a bummer but that’s my life right now and maybe it helps to write. Please tell me how you’re coping.
Our province has decided to go wide open despite many people’s misgivings and I’m sure that doesn’t help. It was too sudden and seemingly so unlike the procedures up to now. I was pleased to find out this morning that our local Walmart is still following the COVID protocols and that about 90% of the customers were masked. Going anywhere is a challenge for, partly out of nervousness and partly because I just don’t feel like it. I was determined to get a little more yarn so I pushed myself to go. And I drove myself for a change.
Take care of yourselves.